Today, with the knowledge of everything I am going through…
someone said to me…
no good deed goes unpunished.
And I thought… that can’t be true.
Give more, get more… right?
I have had so many negatives this week, that my week started being about sitting to make the negatives into positives. Being grateful for the negative… and trying to see past the negatives.
I have a friend who has been hurting me consistently, more and more each time we talk, contacting my friends and family, telling lies that she believes to be true and I need to distance myself from her.
I teach people how to treat me and I have been allowing her to treat me badly. I have been letting her consume my time and my energy and then she wants more.
I am afraid that I may be burnt out. Others have told me they are burnt out and can’t or wont help her and that she has burned bridges with them.
She says I don’t do enough for her. I have done a lot. I will do less and see if that helps. I know trying to do as much as I have been doing has been killing me and it has not helped her at all.
I have had a blessing in this. A mutual friend has reached out and offered to help… although I am not sure there is anything either one of us can do at this point. Environmental toxins in her body need to be detoxed. That is the only answer.
She is toxic. She is abusive toward me. I need to remove myself as much as possible.
She has sent messages to business associates and she even called my mother to ask my mother to tell me to take this blog down. And those are just a couple of things I know about.
Funny, through all of this… I realize she is toxic and it is not her fault what she does… and I still want to help her. “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” Luke 23:34
So, as the abuse continued into today, I thought… how did I attract this?
Which is true?
No good deed goes unpunished?
Give more, get more.
I am true to my word. I tell the truth and I live in truth. I know that I have done everything possible to help this woman and that if she refuses to help herself there is very little that I can do.
I can do little more than pray at this point.
I have to come to terms that if she chooses not to help herself… I cannot help her any more.
If she chooses to slander my good name… that is something I will have to live with. I have learned from this experience. I have learned more than I bargained for… and I continue to learn.
I will not stop helping people because of this.
I learn. I give. I get. I am grateful for my lessons.